I'm frustrated. It goes hand-in-hand with parenting, some would say, but right now I'm particularly frustrated. Over dinner my oldest casually mentioned she'd been called into guidance again because a teacher was worried she wasn't acting herself. My husband and I exchanged a worried look and then launched a barrage of questions. What? What do you mean not acting yourself? What's going on? And what's this again business?
Of course rapid-fire questioning is not a way to get a tween to talk, but in our panicky and concerned state it was all we could think to do. The child looked, in turn, miserable and then angry as she blurted out, "I hate school okay! I just hate it!"
I know it's not unusual for children to claim they hate school but my child has always loved school. In spite of her ADHD she's maintained good grades and a healthy interest in her subjects, until now. I don't think it's a product of burgeoning adolescence.
The frustrating thing is that if she hadn't volunteered that she'd been called into guidance a few times, we'd never have known. If there is enough concern to warrant her being pulled from classes to discuss something, how is it we haven't been notified by the school that they are concerned?
I am frustrated because I don't know what to do for my child, more than what we already do. I am not there during the day, I don't see how she interacts at school, and I can only prod so much before she shuts down like a typical kid. Yes, I’ve contacted the school to discuss things, which I hope will help shed some light on the problem. The part that worries me most is the change from a happy engaged student to one who hates school in such a short time. I want to find a way to help her navigate her way back to the former, by finding out where things went south for her. But without information it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Fran Hopkins
11:27 pm on Thursday, January 12, 2012
Jaleh, please see if your daughter will tell you if other students are bullying her. This doesn't have to be physical by any means. Around middle school age is when kids can taunt and tease and harass to the point that your daughter can't bear it anymore. Kids that once loved school can hate it if their fellow students are making life at school hell by emotionally torturing them. This happened to my own child; eventually, he could no longer go to school at all.
Jaleh Teymourian Brahms
10:31 am on Friday, January 13, 2012
Good advice Fran, thank you.
millresident
8:08 am on Friday, January 13, 2012
MMS were some tough years, I remember them very well. Kids, especially girls are nasty. Tell her that this to shall pass. I don't know what grade your daughter's in but 8th grade was the worse year.
Jaleh Teymourian Brahms
10:33 am on Friday, January 13, 2012
Thank you- as a girl who lived through middle school I know it will pass but when you're in the thick of it, with little life experience, it can be hard to see the forest for the trees.