A friend referred a mom of a child newly diagnosed with food allergies to me. The mom was understandably scared and confused with the news of her child's diagnosis, and my friend thought I might be able to answer some questions about how to cope. My heart went out to this woman, as I so clearly remember being in her shoes almost six years ago. Sitting numb in the allergist's exam room with my 12-month-old son, as the nurse propped open a portable DVD player and played an instructional video on the proper use of an epi-pen, I longed to go back just one hour when, as far as I knew, my son had…
I'm frustrated. It goes hand-in-hand with parenting, some would say, but right now I'm particularly frustrated.
Over dinner my oldest casually mentioned she'd been called into guidance again because a teacher was worried she wasn't acting herself. My husband and I exchanged a worried look and then launched a barrage of questions. What? What do you mean not acting yourself? What's going on? And what's this again business? Of course rapid-fire questioning is not a way to get a tween to talk, but in our panicky and concerned state it was all we could think to do. The child looked, in turn, …
My daughter's Christmas list this year was further proof of her burgeoning teen-ness. Gone were the American Girl dolls and other toys that used to dot her list and in their place were requests for electronics, clothes and shoes, and makeup.Not once looking at her list did I worry that my daughter was going to fall victim to a society where her looks are valued above all else and she'd rather win America's Top Model than a Nobel Prize. The author Lisa Bloom in her provocative article "How to Talk to Little Girls" opines that in order to avoid our daughters feeling that their self worth …
I was very pretty once, but I took it for granted. I thought it was something that would always be part of me, like language or ethnicity. The color I applied to my hair as a novelty in my 20s and 30s is now applied to cover a stubborn streak of wiry grays now that I'm in my early 40s. I fell asleep in my makeup after spending nights in smoky clubs in my 20s, both of which the 40-year-old me could and would never do. The sunscreen I dismissed as a teenager is applied religiously every day, as is the eye cream meant to stave off the deepening of the lines that are slowly appearing. Having said…
The stories of students rioting at Penn State over the firing of football coach Joe Paterno surprised me. Rioters claimed he did nothing wrong, but I disagree - by doing the bare minimum, he turned a blind eye to repeated child abuse. In 2002, Mike McQueary, a graduate student and member of Paterno’s coaching staff, allegedly witnessed Jerry Sandusky sodomizing a young child in the Penn State locker room showers. Rather than stop the assault, he left, waiting until the next day to report what he saw to Paterno. Paterno in turn reported it to Athletic Director Tim Curley and Gary Schultz, …
My husband and I saw the Pixies play at the Wellmont theatre on Thursday for the first gig of their tour. I’ve loved this band since they first emerged in the late '80s; their music was the soundtrack to the end of my high school and all my college years. There were fans our age along with much older and much younger fans in the audience. The most striking thing to me was the number of adults who had brought young kids to the show. On either side of us were kids close to our kids ages. I asked one mother what prompted her to bring her son and she told me that besides her having played …
I was born while my parents were in Iran for my dad's work. The story goes that my Iranian grandmother told my mother I would not be allowed to leave the country without a Persian name. I was named something else entirely at first until my mother, a teacher, realized that kids would not only be unable to pronounce it, but would call me nausea instead. She told me they chose my name with the intention of changing it to 'Julie' when we returned to the United States. However upon our return, she realized I was a 'Jaleh' and not a 'Julie.' When we lived in Texas, not only was I the lone 'Jaleh' …
Next week generationOn, the kid division of the Points of Light Institute, is implementing 'Make Your Mark Week,' (Oct. 16-22) a movement aimed at inspiring kids to volunteer and make an impact in their communities. They hope to inspire young people to focus on issues that matter most to them and to show them that small acts and service projects can add up to make a big difference. Kids and parents can visit their website to get great service ideas for a variety of issues. We live with an ever-increasing number of distractions and pressures. Our kids juggle school, after-school activities and…
Since October is National Bullying Prevention Month, I decided to talk to a few middle school kids to get their perspective on the Week of Respect, and the conversations their school has held since the beginning of the year about harassment, intimidation and bullying. They agreed but would only speak to me if they could remain anonymous. I asked the kids what they thought of the assemblies that they’ve sat through. The consensus was it was nothing new. “We’ve heard all this before. They tell us to say something, if we see something,” one kid said. According to the kids, in spite of the …
"Mom, this article says that you have a favorite. So who's your favorite?" my friend's son asked her last week. He was of course referring to the Time magazine articlediscussing 'the science of favoritism.' My friend was a bit thrown, she doesn’t have a favorite. "Do you have a favorite?" she asked me. I don't have a favorite kid at all. When I was pregnant with number two I was worried that I couldn't possibly love him as much as I love my daughter. Other moms told me not to worry, that I would love my kids equally but differently. My kids are such different people, it makes it easier to…
Have you people heard of the website Pinterest? According to the 'about us' page, "Pinterest lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes and organize their favorite recipes."Pinterest is like crack for someone like me, and by me I mean someone with ADHD and has the attention span of a flea and is distracted by shiny objects on a regular basis. I have found at least 300 different bathrooms I'd like to be in my house, dresses I want to own, DIY projects I must try, recipes and tons of amazing stuff …
If I have to hear one more thing about Taylor Swift I may completely lose it. Yes, I took them to her concert and it was fun, but this is bordering on maddening. My daughter and her friends talk about Taylor Swift, listen to her music, sing her songs and emulate her hairstyles all the time. I realize it's a rite of passage to run out and buy Tiger Beat etc., and plaster pictures of all your favorite stars on your walls, I have no problem with it. I had multiple posters of Rob Lowe on my wall as a tween. My problem is these kids speak of little else. Dear Lord, give me strength, I can't take …
In the wake of Hurricane Irene, I’ve realized just how much I take for granted; electricity at the flick of a switch, and clean running water for example. Gathering clean water to brush our teeth and wash our faces is a pain and yet further evidence that I would have been a terrible pioneer. To large portions of the world these are unheard of luxuries. It makes me realize how easy I have it, and it's quite humbling. But there is something else that has become evident during this experience, people banding together to help one another. I started noticing it pre-Hurricane Saturday at Home …
The tiny island where we recently vacationed was like a throw back to a simpler time. Kids rode bikes to the solitary island store or ice cream shop by themselves. Families convened at the water’s edge, collecting shells and sea glass and splashing in the surf. Others dug for clams. Later in the evenings you would find them further in on the rocks enjoying clambakes and watching the moonrise. The only way on to the island is by boat, which further added to the sense of separateness. My husband has family that lives on the island and nearby on the mainland so my children were able to play …
I almost drowned once. I was maybe 10 and in the river my family visited nearly every summer when I was little. My dad was five yards away and didn't realize I was in trouble. My shoes got caught in the mud and I was trapped. The more I struggled the more I sank. My mother saw I was in trouble from the shore and ran down the bank of the river screaming for my father to help me. She stepped into a hole and let out a blood curdling scream. My father did pull me up, angry I had been horsing around before attending to my mother. It turned out she had broken her hip. I wasn't horsing around…
Earlier this week my son called a kid a "weirdo." I told him in no uncertain terms that was unacceptable, and asked how he’d feel if someone called him a "weirdo." He apologized to the child. I can’t stand rude kids. I may be old fashioned in that respect but I was raised to look someone in the eye, shake their hand and be polite. There are friends of my children that I dread hosting for playdates, and those that are absolute pleasure. I tell my kids that being polite and respectful is the best way to ensure you’ll be invited back to a friends’ house. If you sit in front of my kid on a …
The me from my pre-parenthood days would be appalled at how much of a crybaby I’ve become. The pre-kid me was tough, who ordered around big hulking teamsters and stunt coordinators for a living. I dealt with unruly actors. I’ve had liquor bottles thrown at me by prostitutes and have been screamed at by people who have lost their minds from years of alcohol and drug abuse while shooting films in parts of cities that most people avoid like the plague. I’ve worked with lions, and tigers and bears. With my first pregnancy came sciatica and then some ordered bed rest. I found myself …
After last week’s column a Facebook friend made an interesting observation. “Paranoia strikes deep,” she said. “I just think that paranoia (excessive fears, coupled with expensive (in many ways) efforts to make everything safe) is rampant at all levels of our society -- national, state, local, and in individual families. We readily give up all kinds of freedoms when the word "security" is uttered.… And I do feel sad for the kids. Yes, they do have the benefit of knowing that their parents love them and trying to keep them safe, but in other ways, I believe that their lives are (perhaps …
The doorbell rang and I made my way downstairs to find my little one opening the door to a group of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I took over from there, politely saying we weren’t interested and pointing to the fancy ‘no solicitors’ sign I had painted and posted above our mailbox. The real concern for me was that my son had just thrown the front door wide open to strangers. He’s not used to strangers on our quiet little street. He’s used to neighborhood kids or adults stopping by. A few weeks ago one of my favorite people was almost the victim of a carjacking in town, complete with guns, coming …
When I was a kid I spent every summer in the pool. I would be the color of burnt toast by the end of the summer with a perpetually red peeling nose. My mother would apply thick goopey zinc oxide to my raw nose and I would wipe it off as soon as I got to the pool. I hated it. I’ve had multiple bad sunburns; some so bad I had the chills and big blisters. I didn’t start using sun block until my early 20’s. I wasn’t aware of what the sun could do to me. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my father was diagnosed with stage II melanoma. This news alarmed dermatologists because my father …
