Community Corner

NJ Would Not Survive Zombie Apocalypse, Analysis Finds

If you're from New Jersey and the zombie apocalypse strikes, you're likely screwed.

In today's latest zombie news, the Garden State ranked dead last on a list of states best prepared to survive the zombie uprising.

Estately, a real estate website, ranked the 50 states and Washington D.C. to determine who would be best equipped to survive based on criteria like number of military personnel, martial artists, survivalists, zombie enthusiasts, laser tag aficionados, gun owners and highest percentage of obese residents. 

And things are not looking good for the average New Jerseyite.

Find out what's happening in Millburn-Short Hillswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

If the zombie apocalypse began today, and you live in New Jersey, the odds are 100% that you’ve already been bitten and have become a zombie,” Estately wrote.

Alaska, Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho and New Mexico snagged the top 5 spots of most prepared U.S. states.

Find out what's happening in Millburn-Short Hillswith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Estately gleaned a few takeaways based on their findings: 

From the rankings, we discovered these surprising truths…

  • Delaware is an island of survivors in the zombie-strewn hellscape that will be the Mid-Atlantic.
  • Florida, where the zombie apocalypse (like all serious problems) will no doubt begin, is oddly not in 51st place.
  • Wisconsin can now make fun of Minnesota and Michigan about something other than the Green Bay Packers standing in the NFC North.
  • New Jersey and Mississippi routinely end up on the bottom of lists. All lists.
  • Rural states offer favorable survivability.
  • Something’s wrong with Nebraska.
  • Utah loves laser tag.
  • The West Coast and the South will eventually agree on something—the delicious appeal of brains.

The findings come just days before the season finale of the popular AMC show "The Walking Dead."

Read the full report on Estately.


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