Friday, August 12, 2011
Know what drowning actually looks like in order to know when there's an emergency.
I almost drowned once. I was maybe 10 and in the river my family visited nearly every summer when I was little. My dad was five yards away and didn't realize I was in trouble. My shoes got caught in the mud and I was trapped. The more I struggled the more I sank. My mother saw I was in trouble from the shore and ran down the bank of the river screaming for my father to help me. She stepped into a hole and let out a blood curdling scream. My father did pull me up, angry I had been horsing around before attending to my mother. It turned out she had broken her hip. I wasn't horsing around. My father held the same notion that many people do—drowning people thrash about screaming for help or are face down floating on the water. …
Friday, March 4, 2011
Our education system needs change.
Tuesday night I attended a viewing of “The Race to Nowhere," the documentary film by Vicki Abeles about the pressures children face in our current education system. I had seen a few clips online when researching another column, but this was the first time I had seen the entire film. Quite frankly I felt a measure of despair as I sat in the Millburn High School auditorium full of other township parents, educators and administrators. I recognized myself in the film. I have told my daughter she needs to do well so she can get into AP classes when they’re offered. I also felt despair because much of the data presented in the film was as depressing as it was compelling. An AP biology teacher recalls cutting the homework he assigns in half …
Friday, February 25, 2011
What happens when you stay home for winter break.
Winter break is a great idea if unlike us you actually make plans for something to do during the week. Otherwise you spend the entire week trying to be entertaining and yet still get stuff done like work and laundry. I was super proud of myself when back in January I started looking around for flights and places to go during the break. Unfortunately January is not early enough. "Of course it isn’t! To get a decent price you should have booked this year’s break during last year’s break. Everyone knows that.” Yeah, well whatever. It’s the same feeling I had when holding my 4-month-old gurgling baby at the Mommy and Me thing we attended, and the other moms made it clear that my child was doomed for a substandard life since I didn’t get …
Friday, February 18, 2011
Research shows verbal abuse alters brain development.
Recently a former classmate from the elementary school I attended before my father was transferred overseas asked if I’d like to be on the alumni list. She’s a lovely person, so I felt bad saying no although that’s exactly what I did. I explained I have such horrible memories of the school I’d never like to be reminded of it and certainly would never donate money to it. I have reconnected with the friends from the school I’d like to reconnect with through Facebook. I knew from an early age children could be breathtakingly cruel, especially girls. I was a half Iranian little girl in Texas during the hostage crisis. I went to school with girls who had names like Heather and Jennifer; I had a funny name. I would try and flip my hair back …
Friday, February 11, 2011
A look inside the mind of someone with ADHD
I have ADHD and so does my husband. One of my favorite bloggers, who also has ADHD, wrote this: “I think that ADHD could be diagnosed more accurately if psychiatrists took a look at how their patients react when presented with a sum of money which can only be accessed after completion of a multi-step task, like going to the bank. Normal people go to the bank to deposit their checks without pausing to feel completely overwhelmed by such a simple process. People with ADD have a much harder time with this task.” This is exactly right. My mother has called me to ask why in the H-E double hockey sticks have I not deposited the check for child's birthday-Christmas, et al? I have checks sitting waiting for me to make the trip to the bank, …
Friday, February 4, 2011
The tooth fairy visits my daughter for the last time.
My oldest just lost her last baby tooth. It’s sweet—my girl still claims to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny. She used to leave the loveliest notes for Santa and the Easter Bunny. This year note to Santa seemed like it was going through the motions. It was less heartfelt than it had been in previous years. Here is the note she left for the Tooth Fairy: Dear Tooth Fairy, I lost a tooth a while back and never got cash. Because of your overdue-ish-ness, it is gone for good, so for that lateness I would like to charge you $15 extra, plus $15 for the fact it was a molar, and my second to last baby tooth, and VERY painful. So your ending cost + tips for keeping my teeth in awesome condition will be $30. Please Note: I…
Friday, January 28, 2011
Everyone's a little snow weary, especially when everyone's home all the time.
“Mom if they call another snow day tomorrow, I will officially be in love with the Board of Ed,” my daughter declared tonight. The snow is beautiful, it’s peaceful and I love how quiet the world is when it snows. I love the way our yard looks magical with snow laden trees, and truth be told I'd much rather have snow than sleet or rain. “If they call another snow day tomorrow I will weep,” I replied. The first big storm we had Christmas weekend my children were in the yard until they could no longer feel their extremities, building snowmen, digging tunnels and trying to make a snow fort. Red-cheeked and damp, they’d shuck their snow clothes at the door and drink hot chocolate before going out again. Watching them out the window (because, …
Friday, January 21, 2011
What is the prices if we push our children to succeed?
I was forced to play the clarinet as a kid by my band teacher. I wanted to play drums. “Holly asked first so she’s the drummer, you can play clarinet," I was told. I hated the clarinet. Even more I hated how my band teacher used my clarinet to show the other clarinet players how to play. He had the worst breath, and each time he handed my instrument back to me, I’d stifle a sob before changing my reed. I remember my mom asking if it was normal to go through so many reeds. It is when Halitosis Hal pretends to be Benny Goodman on your clarinet. My mother allowed me to quit clarinet, something a Chinese mother wouldn’t do. Scratch that—actually a Chinese mother would allow a child to quit clarinet because it wasn’t the violin or the …
Friday, January 14, 2011
We need to teach our children to be respectful of one another by reviving proper debate.
When the news broke about the Arizona shootings last Saturday I was horrified. I must have gasped because my 11-year-old daughter asked anxiously if her father and brother, who were out at the time were okay, I assured her they were. “Then what happened mom?” she asked. I told her what I knew—apparently a young mentally-disturbed man had opened fire on U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the crowd that was there to meet her. From the news reports it appeared six were dead and several more injured. “Did Sarah Palin really have that map on her website?” she asked as we listened to the news. “Yes," I answered. But she wasn’t alone. Democrats had a map with what could be construed as targets on their sites. “Why are people so horrible?” she…
Friday, January 7, 2011
Parenting doesn't have to equal martyrdom.
A friend mentioned feeling he was falling down on the parenting job because he let his kid watch one more video while he finished his lunch, and glass of wine in peace. I've been there. I figure we all have. I wondered if letting my kids watch TV while I took a shower in peace was going to screw them up. I wondered if our lack of wooden Waldorf toys would doom my children to a lifetime of mediocrity. I worried letting them play on their own for a bit while I read a bit of my book or worked would screw them up. I felt guilty for fantasizing about getting away from them for a day. Wasn't I a terrible mother for not wanting to play with my kids during every waking moment? I would sit on my own desires — alone time, etc. — for the good…
donchew
9:38 pm on Friday, August 12, 2011
Oh please! Have you been to the Millburn Pool this year (or last year, or the year before last)? Of course parents are responsible for their children, however, lifeguards should be doing their job and not socializing with other guards, talking or horsing around with friends or complaining about their jobs. It's a serious responsibility and should be treated as such. more ›